How Will This Book Help?
•Are you experiencing relationship problems in your marriage or a
marriage crisis? What is the difference? Why this answer is crucial
•Understand why your relationship with your spouse has changed
so dramatically and so quickly. No it doesn't necessarily mean
that there is someone else.
•How to keep your feelings from harming the future of your
relationship. Learn how to manage your anger, anxiety and
•Gain a glimpse of the inner world of an ambivalent spouse trying to choose whether to remain married or divorce. Get answers to
questions your partner will not, or cannot answer.
•Understand the inner tensions that keep your mate from coming
to a quick decision.
•Prevent impulsive or emotional decision-making that may later be
•Respond to your partner in a way that reduces the distance in
your relationship. Find surprising changes you can make for
yourself that will attract your mate to the marriage.
•Help family and friends maintain support without becoming
•Determine whether a separation can benefit your marriage.
Understanding Your Distancing Partner
This 14-page ebook will help you to understand the thoughts and actions of a partner whose commitment to the marriage has become uncertain. You will learn why his or her reactions are so hurtful. You will also learn how to respond so that you will prevent further hurt, gain personal power and preserve the marriage.
Responding to the Crisis in Your Marriage
Perhaps you have only begun to accept the truth. You have seen the signs of your deteriorating relationship. Your partner is distant and has no time for you. There never seems to be a good time to address issues. There is always an excuse given to avoid talking about the marriage.
The reality is that your partner is distancing from you and the excuses hide the fact that your partner’s commitment to the marriage is uncertain. This 13-page ebook will help you understand how to respond so that you will not harm your relationship and will do your best to attract your partner's commitment to the relationship.
Establishing Relationship Power &
Encouraging Good Decision-Making
This 20-page double ebook helps you to avoid the trap of falling into emotional decision-making during a crisis in your marriage. You will learn how to build personal power by becoming the director of this crisis rather than reacting out of panic or fear. By encouraging good decision-making, you and your partner can avoid regrets over decisions made too quickly or out of anger.
Establishing Personal Worth &
Managing Your Mood
During a marital crisis, it is important for the rejected partner to maintain self-worth and manage his or her mood. This 34 page ebook explains the futility of pursuing a partner who is not committed to the marriage. Instead, you will learn to send a message of worth that communicates your value and attracts, rather than pursues your partner. Also, you will learn to manage the depression, anxiety, and anger that undermines your ability to make good decisions during this time of crisis in your relationship.
Distancing from Your Partner:
Using Separation to Save Your Marriage
A separation communicates, “I am willing to withdraw from our relationship until you let me know you are committed to the relationship.” This is not a statement of powerlessness; it is a statement of strength. You choose to give your spouse distance. You are willing to give your spouse distance from the emotional push and pull that arises when you interact. This 15-page ebook guides you through the process of establishing a healthy marital separation and a path toward reconciliation with your partner.
Deciding What You Want
Before You Leap in or Out of the Marriage
Your partner claims to have changed and is offering you a "new and improved" relationship. But how can you know that this is real change and not another manipulation? This 18-page ebook helps you to answer these questions and decide whether to risk reconciliation with your partner.
Download These Ebooks and Begin Working on Your Relationship Today!
I highly recommend this book because it's written with the kind of clarity that makes it immediately useful. While fully acknowledging the dire circumstances of a crumbling commitment, it offers realistic hope that it's possible to survive this marital crisis. Best of all, it backs up that hope with specific step-by-step guidelines for moving forward. Another of its strengths is that it offers a path through this crisis for both the offended and the pursuing partner. If you're dealing with a crumbling commitment in your marriage, read this book now!
Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth," "Preventing Affairs" and Host of Dear Peggy.com
"Crumbling Commitment gave me reassurance that I could trust my instincts, a reminder to not let my husband disrespect or devalue me just because the relationship had changed, and the incredibly difficult insistence that I listen to my husband without judgment. That last bit of advice was what allowed my husband to eventually see me as someone to trust and confide in, opening up the communication that led him to recommitting to the marriage. That advice also led us to realize that my husband's fear of communicating and being judged by me was a major part of our particular problem.
I am enormously grateful for this book. As opposed to other books I read that made me feel uncomfortable about compromising myself, Horton’s advice strengthened me when I felt vulnerable and unsure, and would have made me feel confident about myself and my behavior regardless of whether the marriage worked out."
"When I was suddenly going through a marriage crisis, countless friends started telling me about a friend of theirs whose spouse did the same bizarre thing as mine. Hearing so many similar stories, I knew there had to be a term for this, as opposed to a typical divorce, separation or break-up, and finding the term "marriage crisis" lead me to this book. Just reading the excerpts online assured me that Horton knew exactly what kind of situation I was in, had seen countless cases of them, and knew the many ways they could go wrong or right. By the time I read the book, I was already instinctively taking good care of everything that had to do with just me, but I was clueless as to how to interact with my spouse, who was no longer remotely similar to the person he had always been.
This book gave me a few main gifts – the stories of others in my situation, reassurance that I could trust my instincts on how to care for myself and feel confident, a reminder to not let my husband disrespect or devalue me just because the relationship had changed, and the incredibly difficult insistence that I listen to my husband without judgment. That last bit of advice was what allowed my husband to eventually see me as someone to trust and confide in, opening up the communication that led him to recommitting to the marriage. That advice also led us to realize that my husband's fear of communicating and being judged by me was a major part of our particular problem.
As Dr. Horton warned, I definitely experienced uncertainty about whether I wanted to be in the marriage myself after what my spouse put me through, or if I even loved this stranger anymore, but one part of the book stuck with me – that a spouse who does find his certainty can become the most committed, loving spouse in the world. When my husband committed to moving back in, and became certain about the marriage, it was like a switch was flipped and he was himself again, but better, though I was extremely wary about what his actions during the crisis said about the real him. It was soon very clear that it was just the uncertainty and confusion that was causing him to not act like himself; it was like a teenager rebelling against his wife instead of his parents. Any relationship advice not specifically about a marriage crisis could never have helped me to understand and believe that.
I am enormously grateful for this book. As opposed to other books I read that made me feel uncomfortable about compromising myself,Dr. Horton’s advice strengthened me when I felt vulnerable and unsure, and would have made me feel confident about myself and my behavior regardless of whether the marriage worked out."
Get Started on Solving Your Relationship Problems Now!
I just wanted to let you know that I have another client who loves your book. Those I can get to do reading homework tend to respond to Crumbling Commitment much more positively than to other material I've asked them to read (such as Gottman). They appreciate its clarity, really feel that they can understand it, that it speaks to what they are going through and gives them some concrete feedback that is empowering to them. Thanks for writing such a cogent, helpful work.
Gail Carson-Webb, Psy.D.